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Think about what an obituary is.

It's the collaborative effort of a newspaper writer and a deceased's loved one to tell the abridged story of a person's life.

It has to be dignified. You have to paint a picture and do the person justice. But it's still Cliff Notes of elegies, meaning there's not a lot of room in obituaries for stuff like, "He loved every ingredient on Supreme pizzas but the olives."

Daniel Castro hit a third-inning home run for the Atlanta Braves Friday night worth $1 million.

Or at least you’d think it was, based on the reaction of the fan who caught it.

The guy picked it up, danced, yelled, ignored high-fives, ran in place—it was human excitement at its purest.

You remember Steve Bartman, right?

Of course, you do. He's the most notorious fan in all of sports:

The playoff-bound Chicago Cubs are trying to make things right after Bartman was made out to be some sort of villain in 2003. A GoFundMe account started by a fellow fan has emerged with a goal of $5,000 in mind. The purpose is to send Bartman to the NL Wild Card game against the Pittsburgh Pirates.

Derek Jeter was out in full support of the Wolverines on Saturday.

The New York Yankees legend, who grew up in Michigan, received a personalized jersey from head coach Jim Harbaugh before the team took on BYU:

With The Captain behind them, the Wolverines will look to upset the No. 22 team in the nation.

[Twitter]

The Curse of the Billy Goat has hovered over the Chicago Cubs for 70 years. But competitive eater Takeru Kobayashi tried to change that.

He and four others powered home an entire goat on Thursday, and brief chants of “Break the curse!” could be heard from Cubs fans.

After walking a batter in the bottom of the sixth inning against the San Diego Padres on Thursday night, San Francisco Giants stud Madison Bumgarner had an epic staredown with umpire Joe West.

If you’re unfamiliar with West’s work, he’s the kind of umpire who isn't afraid of a little airtime. He is to baseball what Joey Crawford is to the NBA.

The Washington Nationals are shrewd.

In the midst of a letdown season, the team is set to allow season-ticket holders the opportunity to earn their subscription to next year’s games for free. All they have to do is hit a home run.

Sounds easy enough, right? 

Scott Allen of the Washington Post explained the promotion:

Former President Jimmy Carter was put on the Kiss Cam at the Atlanta Braves game Thursday night.

He delivered.

The 90-year-old is undergoing cancer treatment, but it was great to see him having fun at the ballpark with his wife and former first lady Rosalynn Carter despite Atlanta's 5-0 loss to the Toronto Blue Jays.

[MLB]

Read more MLB news on BleacherReport.com

If you load the bases for Mike Trout, good things are going to happen.

In the second inning against the Minnesota Twins on Thursday night, the Los Angeles Angels did just that—and the reigning American League MVP delivered.

Trout took A.J. Achter's pitch deep to right-center field and gave his Angels a 6-5 lead. It was his 37th long ball of the season.

Retractable roofs are big, cool and expensive, and like any other big, cool and expensive thing ever made, they're prone to some annoying hiccups.

In the case of the retractable roof at Chase Field, it has some problems with its "being a roof" function—or, more specifically, the part where it shields those beneath it from the elements.