As a lifelong baseball fan and supporter of the game (I make it to at least 10 games a year), I feel the only people that owe me an apology are the owners for providing crappy, overpriced food at the stadiums and charging $15 for parking (thank you Mr. McCourt).
Oh, and by the way, I bought tickets to 15 Dodger games this season in which seven of them are Manny-less. I purchased these tickets, of course, long before Manny was suspended for slaughtering a child...oops, I mean testing positive for drugs. So maybe Bud Selig owes my family and I an apology for taking away the Dodgers' most prolific player and costing me $560.
Major League Baseball depriving myself and other ticket holders of watching Manny Ramirez isn't the thesis of this article, but I would like to acknowledge the numerous players who have been deeply affected by MLB's blame game.
First, I would like to address the effects anabolic steroids and HGH has on major league performance...NONE! The only reason these players took these drugs was because they believed in artificial enhancement. In other words, they believed drugs helped them to become better ball players.
All the great players of the so-called "steroid era" (Bonds, Clemens, Sosa, McGwire, Palmeiro, A-Rod, Manny) are naturally gifted athletes whose superior skills led to each of their marvelous careers. They didn't need drugs...nobody needs drugs! The only effects that banned substances can have on a player is improved stamina, mental nirvana, bad health, death, and a scolding from Mr. Baseball himself, the great Bob Costas.
The one element of a swing that produces a large amount of home runs is bat speed. Ask guys like Bonds, Sheffield, and Canseco. The greater the torque, the farther the ball travels. But there comes a point where good mechanics become essential in hitting a baseball. All the great power hitters utilize hip and leg movement as key components in launching the ball over the fence.
The lingering question is, does strength play a role in hitting home runs? The answer is yes. However, if you analyze Vladimir Guerrero's swing, he hits the ball in a fashion that relies heavily on upper-body strength. Unlike a refined hitter, Vlad reaches for balls and as a result, his home run numbers have never been consistently impressive.
Barry Bonds, on the other hand, has just as much power as Vlad Guerrero yet his 762 home runs is a milestone Vlad will never touch. Why? Because Bonds is the superior hitter and it doesn't matter if you weigh 190 lbs or 290 lbs, as long as you can put all your weight on the ball, it will travel a long way.
We already know that steroids and HGH can make a player stronger, but can these drugs increase durability? Well, ask the pitchers who took these "supplements".
Steroids and HGH (particularly HGH with pitchers) are the ultimate "pick me ups" for a grueling 162 game schedule. Feelings of invincibility and extreme confidence are common side effects of steroid and HGH usage. Guys can play through all the little aches and pains when they're juicing. People call this "cheating"; I call it "technology."
Think about it. When the Chinese workers built the Great Wall do you really think those guys took Aleve for back pain or rubbed Bengay on sore muscles after a 20 hour day? Of course they didn't, but if you fast forward some thousands of years, people can go to Rite Aid and pick up Orajel for a sore tooth or Advil for a migraine, etc.
That's right folks, it's called medicine. Medicine as a result of scientific advancements. Too bad for those ancient Chinese workers, huh? Well, too bad for players in older generations who didn't have access to steroids and HGH. Sorry guys. You missed out.
So don't apologize to me for the "steroid era", Mr. Selig. But you need to rectify all the damage caused to those players whose legacies and careers have been tarnished due to your paranoia which ultimately led to countless hours of skewed media reporting.
This reporting, of course, resulted in sinister public opinion. Let me make your useless job easy for you, Bud, by going through all these disgraced players and recommending their steps to a positive spotlight:
1. Barry Bonds: MLB pays him three times the lost income he would have made if not for his banishment from the game. According to this clause found in Article XX (E) of the Basic Agreement, that would be approximately $2,370,000 based on the 2008 league minimum of $390,000 and the 2009 minimum of $400,000.
Bonds' agent said last season he would be willing to play for the minimum wage, so that's why I decided to use 390K and 400K as the base figures. Also, MLB allows Bonds to play for the team(s) of his choice for the second half of this year and the entire 2010 season if he desires. Bonds will be allowed to negotiate a separate contract with his chosen team(s) excluding the $2.4 million he'll earn already from the Basic Agreement violation.
2. Alex Rodriguez: MLB formally apologizes to Rodriguez for their careless handling of his 2003 positive drug test (they had ample time to destroy the results before the Feds issued the subpoena). MLB also urges Congress to force Selena Roberts to reveal her sources under oath.
3. Sammy Sosa: Once again, MLB formally apologizes to Sosa for their 2003 survey testing snafu and MLB urges Congress to force Michael S. Schmidt of the New York Times to reveal his sources under oath.
4. Manny Ramirez: MLB rules Ramirez's 2009 positive test as a first-time offense. Therefore, no punishment will be given. Also, MLB proves to the public that hCG is anything but a "performance-enhancer." It's a women's fertility drug for Christ's sake!
5. Rafael Palmeiro: MLB formally apologizes to Palmeiro for influencing Congress in their decision to have him testify under oath about his use of banned substances. MLB also acknowledges their violation of the Basic Agreement and pays Palmeiro $4,620,000 based on the league minima from 2006-2009.
MLB allows Palmeiro to play for the team(s) of his choice for the second half of this year and the entire 2010 season if he desires. Palmeiro will be allowed to negotiate a separate contract with his chosen team(s) excluding the $4.6 million he'll earn already from the Basic Agreement violation.
6. Mark McGwire: MLB urges the Hall of Fame to automatically induct McGwire. If this proposition is rejected, MLB discontinues their donations of authentic game artifacts to Cooperstown. However, players and ex-players can continue to donate their game memorabilia if they choose.
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