Same story, different day. I swear, this sounds like a familiar plotline. A corpulent, Hispanic starting pitcher takes the mound for the Cubs, gives up multiple moonshots in his first inning of work, calls out a corner infielder for making some negligible error, and a "scuffle" breaks out in the Cubs dugout.
Now I remember. That was the exact same situation that unfolded on June 25, 2010 (my 22nd birthday, mind you) with Carlos Zambrano and ex-Cub Derek Lee. This time, however, it was the Cubs' other volatile, right-handed butterball, Carlos Silva, that tried to go fist to cuffs down the dugout steps with Aramis Ramirez, or as I like to call him, "the Mexican Michael Wilbon".
On both occasions, the Cubs pitchers have sounded off on their infield teammates for making errors while they're on the bump trying to fend off a forgettable inning. The fact of the matter is, though, it's not the errors that set the inning awry; it was the sequence of lackluster fastballs and lifeless curves that you left up in the zone prior to the incident that resulted in a crooked number on the stadium scoreboard.
It has without a doubt been an inauspicious start to Spring Training for the Cubs defense (14 errors in four games). Literally, I wouldn't be surprised if Weird Al makes a long-awaited comeback to much fanfare in which he spoofs the 2011 Cubs with "Like an E-6", a play off the Far East Movement's signature track (actually not a bad video).
But, where is the notion that they are all in this together? I thought pitchers, catchers, infielders and outfielders were all supposed to get along under Quade? He's such a calming presence. At least I figured with names like Ramirez, Zambrano, Soto, Silva and Castro in the lineup, they could all get along like an English Language Learners class at the Rolling Meadows Public Library. I guess not.
Although it is still a far cry from the regular season, this five-knuckle-shuffle in the Mesa, AZ dugout set off some warning signs. First, can't we just a keep a mini-fridge stocked with Modelo Man-Cans in the Cubs' clubhouse so Silva and Zambrano stay loose enough not to knock out one of the infield starters?
Silva has already expressed dissatisfaction based on the fact that he hasn't already been named a part of the rotation after an All-Star caliber first half last season. Apparently, he forgot about joining enough chili-dog eating contests to send him into heart failure and only pitching 11 total innings in the second half (11.12 ERA). And finally, are we really going to start five right handed pitchers in the rotation? That's just asinine.
Three words: We. Are. Marshall. And that has nothing to do with any Matthew McConaughey movies (that link is hilarious, I promise you).
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