Please tell me this is April Fools Day.
Look, the Cubs have done a lot of dumb things in their history, but moving Carlos Zambrano to the bullpen may be the craziest thing they have done since the "College of Coaches."
For those of you not up to date on Cubs history, the College of Coaches was the brainchild (or brain-dead decision) of then-owner P.K. Wrigley back in 1961, and consisted of rotating eight coaches as managers.
This did not turn out well. Without firm and consistent leadership, chaos reigned in the Cubs' dugout and this became the laughingstock of major league baseball.
Likewise, the decision to take your highest-paid pitcher and make him your eighth inning bullpen guy will someday be viewed in almost similar ridicule.
Cubs' senile manager Lou Piniella thinks it's a good idea.
"Look, this makes all the sense in the world."
Um, no, Lou, you apparently haven't taken your medication because this does NOT make sense to the rest of the world.
I realize that one current starter has to take a seat with Ted Lilly coming back, but Zambrano? Really?
Now, I admit the Cubs bullpen is bad. So you say that desperate times call for desperate measures? But no more than two weeks ago Zambrano was your opening day starter.
Apart from his disastrous opening day start, Big Z has pitched well. Plus, there's the not-so-minor point that Carlos makes a ton of money.
If I was Tom Ricketts and you told me that your $18 million pitcher was moving to the bullpen, you'd be fired. End of story.
Fortunately for general manager Jim Hendry, I am not the Cubs owner.
Zambrano, for his part, was a good soldier. Of course, if someone wanted to make me rich, I would also be loyal to them.
"I don't like to be a reliever," Zambrano said. "I don't want to be a reliever but this team needs somebody to step up and help out the bullpen."
Hello, Jim Hendry? This is a direct and embarrassing indictment of you not acquiring a setup man in the offseason.
Apparently, $140 million is not enough to ensure that you have a solid guy to get you to your novice closer, who does not make much money, by the way.
Even if this is temporary, is it worth the risk to his career? What if Big Z's arm doesn't take well to pitching every day (or every other day)? What if this leads to physical problems?
Is that the risk you are willing to take?
This is a complete joke. In fact, I honestly can't believe I'm writing about this.
Zambrano is in the third season of a $91.5 million, five-year contract extension that he agreed to August 2007. The deal includes a 2013 option that could make it worth $110.75 million over six seasons.
And you are willing to play loose and fast with your second-highest investment?
Look, Cubs fans, this is just one reason why we haven't won in more than a century. I'm afraid it won't be the last.
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