Feliz cumpleanos, Big Papi.
Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz announced Wednesday he will retire after the 2016 season.
Wednesday is also his 40th birthday. Ortiz should be enshrined in Cooperstown by his 50th.
His only birthday baseball wish at this point would be a fourth championship in 2016.
Life's tough, after all, when you're chasing this guy:
Ortiz was about to blow out the candles on his pro career when the Red Sox signed him as a free agent in January 2003. He was the second choice, behind Jeremy Giambi, to be the team's DH.
Piece of cake.
A month into the 2003 season, Ortiz became Boston's starting designated hitter. It's a position he's held, barring injury and visits to National League ballparks, ever since.
Party time.
Ortiz whacked the game-winning home run in Boston's memorable Game 4 American League Championship Series victory over New York in 2004, only to follow it with the game-winning single less than 24 hours later.
The Red Sox labored under curses real and imagined for 86 years before Ortiz's heroics triggered an eight-day biblical flood of baseball good fortune for Boston.
During Boston's 2007 title run, he quietly hit .370 with three home runs, 10 RBI and a 1.204 OPS in 14 postseason games.
With the Red Sox facing an 0-1 series deficit, his grand slam in Game 2 of the 2013 ALCS erased a 5-1 deficit in the eighth inning. Ortiz batted .688 in the World Series that followed, all the while channeling his inner Bill Belichick in the Red Sox dugout during Game 4, with the score tied and Boston trailing in the series 2-1.
The Red Sox subsequently took the lead and would be riding duck boats six days later.
To baseball fans in Boston, and in his native Dominican Republic, Ortiz has become far more than someone who has 503 career home runs, three World Series rings and a smile that stretches from South Boston to Santo Domingo.
"He created a belief of eventual success, as opposed to an expectation of failure," Red Sox fan Bob Falfa, 38, who lives in Winnipeg, Manitoba, said Tuesday. "Sad to see it's closing time for Ortiz, but what a hell of a ride it's been."
The most passionate moment of Ortiz's career in Boston had nothing to do with baseball.
It came at Fenway Park in the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombing and subsequent manhunt on April 20, 2013 (warning: video contains NSFW language):
He angrily voiced the resilience of millions.
"This jersey that we are wearing today, it doesn't say Red Sox. It says Boston. We want to thank you Mayor Menino, Governor Patrick, the whole police department for the great job that they did this past week. This is our f--king city, and nobody's gonna dictate our freedom. Stay strong. Thank you."
Cue the riotous applause.
"People look at me differently because of what I do because I'm a baseball player. But I'm also a citizen," Ortiz told Bleacher Report in a one-on-one interview the day before he hit his 500th career home run. "It struck all of us. In 2013, we all suffered, not just if you were a baseball player, basketball player or a football player. But as a citizen. We all struggled with that. I said what I felt."
The feelings returned to many after the attacks in Paris last week.
"I don't think it was fair. Especially in the marathon, where everybody was racing to try and raise money to fight disease," Ortiz added. "There's never a perfect time to do something like that. But the marathon? It was very frustrating. I said what I said as a citizen, as a member of the city of Boston, New England, who was affected by it."
It was the moment when Boston forever became his (bleeping) city.
Actress Kerry O'Malley, now living in California, has sung the National Anthem before several Red Sox games and once performed Shakespeare at Fenway Park. She was born and raised in New England.
"Big Papi has given me and my family (including brother Mike O'Malley) the most joyous and thrilling moments I will never forget," she told B/R on Tuesday. "He had lifted us up and delivered so many clutch moments it seems impossible they could all come from the same man. What a huge heart. I love him. This is our (bleeping) Papi!"
There are roughly 103,000 Dominicans in Massachusetts, according to ESPN.com's Gordon Edes. In the Dominican Republic, Ortiz enjoys cult/national hero status. Officially licensed Red Sox merchandise is available for sale at stores in the nation's capital.
Satellite-TV sports bars feature photos of Ortiz, most likely unlicensed. Spend a few hours walking through the historic district in Santo Domingo wearing any Red Sox garb. You will soon think your name is "Big Papi."
"Children in the Dominican Republic learn how to play baseball before they are born," Santo, a tour guide during a 2014 trip to the island nation, said. "There are three sports here: baseball, cock fighting and dominoes. Baseball is far and ahead No. 1. It is the best sport ever."
Santo expressed enough knowledge and admiration of the Red Sox to earn a Boston hat as part of his tip.
"It has gotten to the point that Ortiz is more loved than Pedro Martinez. He has the same popularity as Pedro, and who knows, even more. He is like a Tom Brady, Larry Bird, Bobby Orr, for the Dominican community," Nilson Pepen, host of a sports radio talk show, Conversando de Deportes, in Boston, told Edes.
Hitting 500 home runs once meant guaranteed admission to Cooperstown. That is no longer true since the arrival of baseball's performance-enhancing drug era.
"Those are tough numbers," Ortiz, who has hit 20 or more home runs 14 times and 30 or more homers nine times, said. "Not a lot of us get to play 14 seasons or more. Not a lot of us get to stay consistent."
Ortiz isn't shy about much, including his willingness to be a role model off the field or his desire to be happy and make others feel the same.
"Born in the Dominican, coming from where I come from, this is something you never dream of," Ortiz said in his press conference after hitting his 500th home run Sept. 12.
"Every day I thank God for giving me the ability to play the game. I come from a place where people struggle, people who are poor. We want to open a lot doors for the young, talented players coming up. We want them to understand the importance of doing the right thing. I take a lot of pride in that. I never get tired of teaching young players how to do the right thing. Hopefully we'll have more David Ortizs, more Pedro Martinezs, more Vladimir Guerreos coming up."
Ortiz tested positive for a performance-enhancing substance in 2003, along with then-teammate Ramirez, during a pilot testing program. The results were supposed to be anonymous, but the New York Times reported them.
Ortiz remains adamant in his denial of knowingly using any banned substances. He told Bob Hohler of Boston Globe in March it would be "unfair" if anyone denied him a Hall of Fame vote because of the 2003 positive. "I was using what everybody was using at the time," he added.
Ortiz has a simple response to critics who believe his accomplishments are illegitimate: Hitting isn't as easy as it looks.
"This game is hard enough. Some people look at this game, and they think it's easier than what it is," Ortiz told B/R. "This game is not easy at all. This game burns your brain cells, even on your best day. Just for being consistent, and being able to perform at this level for years, I think that I deserve respect."
He has no doubt earned it.
"We live in world where you're not going to make everyone happy," Ortiz added in September. "There's a lot of things going on left and right. In my case, the people that know me, the people that are around me a lot, know that I'm simple. I'm very emotional. I don't hold anything back. When I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I'm wrong and I'll admit it," Ortiz said after hitting No. 500. "I don't judge anyone. I don't expect anyone to judge me."
Entrance into Cooperstown, however, requires judgment from hundreds of voters.
Ortiz plans to enjoy the time between his eventual retirement and his eligibility for the Hall of Fame.
"Once you're done playing baseball, you have to wait another five years. Trust me, I'm going to party and have fun once I'm done with this. I'm not going to worry about the next five years."
Bill Speros is an award-winning journalist. He writes the "Obnoxious Boston Fan" column and tweets at @RealOBF.
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