Explaining The Struggles of Jeff Francoeur and Kelly Johnson

I have figured out the cause behind the struggles of Jeff Francoeur and Kelly Johnson.

Surprisingly, it is a very easy problem to fix.

Kelly's and Jeff's issues lie in their poor taste in music.

That's right, their walk-up music has immersed both in dreadful slumps.

Neither "Your Love" by The Outfield and "Summertime" by Kenny Chesney hardly strike fear into opposing pitchers. And, in my opinion, both fail to energize the two struggling sluggers.

How, you ask, can I attribute walk-up songs to on-the-field performance?

Simple.

Think of Chipper Jones and (in Milwaukee) Trevor Hoffman.

When, as an opposing player you hear "ALL ABOARD!!! HAHAHAHA" or the intro to Hell's Bells, you're pissing your pants because you know that one of the best in this generation is going to be going against you.

But when you hear "Josie's on vacation far away, Come around and talk it over..." or "Summertime's finally here, That old ballpark man is back in gear...," the only reason you'd be pissing your pants would be over laughing so hard.

Have no fear, though, because I have three songs for these two pick from.

First off is the song Tommy Hanson currently uses: "Know Your Enemy" by Green Day.

It's no "Crazy Train" or "Hell's Bells," but it has a great guitar riff and a good opening verse ("Do you know the enemy?, Do you know your enemy?, You gotta know the enemy, Oh Ay").

It would work for me.

Second, "Ghostbusters" by Ray Parker Jr..

I know, I know—This one, like the ones they currently have, has a corny intro.

However, I picked this one FOR Kelly (although I'd let him have any of these) because I think the second line perfectly describes Kelly: "There's something weird, And it don't look good..."

Call me crazy, but I think Kelly's streaks are "weird," and normally "don't look good."

Last, but certainly not least, is "For Those About to Rock" by AC/DC.

It has everything that I would want from a walk-up song.

The gradual build-up of the guitar solo from Angus and first line ("Stand up and be counted, For what you are about to receive...") combine to make a great intro.

AC/DC has been a staple in ballparks, yet I've never heard this song.

So, in addition to being kick-[anus], this would also be original.

Now, maybe, just maybe, their issues are talent-based.

But, even if that is the case (*cough* it is *cough*), these songs would at least provide greater entertainment value than the pitiful songs they're coming up to now.

Does anyone else have any suggestions to improve these guys' swing and swag?