Louis Skolnick Leads the Yankees 20-2 After 5 Innings

One game does not make a season.

April games don't count.

Come see me in October.

Oh yeah, what is the Red Sox record?

26 World Championships, baby.

Got rings?

I know all the cliches, and every one of them is, or may be, true. I am well aware that at some point the Red Sox or the Rays may be equally embarrassed. I am quite certain that the Yankees are not going to be a .500 team on October 1, and feel confident that their Championship drought will not go on indefinitely.

At some point in time, the Yankees will again sip champagne while I eat a piece of humble pie.

But for now, for today, for this moment in time, isn't this frickin' awesome?

Am I alone in my jubilation sitting in front of the tube and watching the Indians leading 20-2 after five innings in the new Yankee Stadium?

The auspicious start in the "House that City Taxpayers Built" looks like this after 23 innings all time.

Wins: 1

Losses: 2

Runs for: 10

Runs against: 35

Record for runs in one inning by an opposing team: 14

ERA of starting staff: 11.50 (14 Runs in 11 innings)

ERA of relief staff: 13.50 (21 Runs in 14 innings); This includes a perfect inning of work by utility infielder, Nick Swisher.

To me, this is the equivalent of seeing Louis Skolnick banging Stan Gable's girlfriend in the Revenge of the Nerds; we all knew that Stan would eventually get Bette Childs back.

But, while Gilbert is planting some seed, weren't you just cheering like a mad man?

And if this isn't enough to make the Steinbrenner's collective ulcer's bleed, add this to the top of the Yankee House of Cards:

• Xavier Nady has an injured elbow.
• Joba Chamberlain is 0-0 with a 5.06 ERA and six walks in nine innings, and still dodging shrapnel from his NY and Yogi bashing video during his DUI arrest.
• With only five innings gone in today's blood bath, there are five members of your bullpen that have an ERA over 6.75.
• Chien-Ming Wang is 0-3 with a 34.50 ERA, hasn't lasted more than four innings in any start, and hasn't won since last June 17.
• Cody Ransom, the replacement for Alex Rodriguez, is hitting .121 and has struck out 11 times in 33 AB.
• Mark Teixeira, the $180 million dollar man, is hitting .179 and has taken a cortisone shot in his wrist.
• Hideki Matsui is hitting .143, and looks over-powered and old at the plate.
• Ten of the team's next seventeen games are against the Angels, the Red Sox, and the Rays.
• The Human Lightening-Rod is due to return in two weeks, and then will begin hearing the steroid chants. 

I don't know where it will all end, and I guess that's why the games are played, but for today, and for this brief snippet in time, I find myself sitting on the couch and shouting NERDS, NERDS, NERDS!!!