Every year I do this.
I will pick two or three things out for each team that most people won't pay attention to when it happens, unless they get big enough for the average fan to care.
Let’s start off with the American League.
Baltimore Orioles
Nick Markakis will emerge as an MVP candidate, but since he's not A-Rod, he won't get votes, although Baltimore will finish better than A-Rod's Rangers did.
Jeremy Guthrie will have 17 wins, but no one will care. Does anyone ever really care about pitching in Baltimore?
Boston Red Sox
John Smoltz will retire mid-season, but people will be paying attention to Jacoby Ellsbury's emergence as the one player who might come close to Rickey Henderson's stolen bases record. My guess is this year Ellsbury nabs 77 bases.
Toronto Blue Jays
No one will notice that Toronto still has a team, although Alex Rios might just surprise people.
Tampa Bay Rays
Evan Longoria will dazzle and hit nearly 50 home runs, and the Rays will still be in the playoff hunt. However, Longoria's home runs will pale in comparison to the number of different steroids found in Alex Rodriguez's gym bag.
New York Yankees
Oh where to begin. A.J. Burnett will surprise a few people. He will maintain an ERA of about 2.57, about as close as A-Rod's batting average, .257, and Joba Chamberlain's blood alcohol level.
In all seriousness, A.J., not CC, will win more games and strike out more batters. I guess the dots by your initials really are that powerful.
Chicago White Sox
Fans rejoice as Bobby Jenks drops half as many pounds as Alexei Ramirez hits home runs, and as many wins as Gavin Floyd wins games. 19 pounds for Jenks, 19 wins for Floyd, and 38 homers for Ramirez.
Cleveland Indians
Fans in left field will begin asking, "When did Manny Ramirez become Asian?" Some smart alic kid is going to remind them that Manny was years ago. This is Shin-Soo Choo, however, this doesn't stop people from referring to Victor Martinez as "Pudge."
Detroit Tigers
The fire sale begins about the time of the trade deadlines, Miguel Cabrera, Justin Verlander, Armando Galarraga, Jose Guillen, and Magglio Ordonez all go. Gary Sheffield insists on staying, however once September rolls around, given the sad state of the Tigers, Gary will be missed.
RIP Sheffield's career: 1988-2009.
Kansas City Royals
Zach Greinke shows that you can be suicidal and still be a superstar. Kansas City thanks Lexapro by naming their stadium after the product that gives Greinke 240 Ks and 17 wins.
Minnesota Twins
Delmon Young discovers his power again. This isn't the best scenario for Minnesota, as they lose Young for 50 games once MLB realizes he made several stops to a certain gym bag belonging to No. 13.
Note to the Twins; just because the drugs are there, it doesn't mean Delmon needs to go looking in A-Rod's gym bag. Let him stay in Minnesota on May 15-18.
Seattle Mariners
Nothing bad here. Griffey, Jr. comes back, Seattle wins more games, Jack Zduriencik looks like a genius. Actually a genius looks a lot like Jack Zduriencik.
Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Brian Fuentes shows he's not K-Rod, but Kendry Morales does a nice Mark Teixeira impression.
Texas Rangers
When the waters of the catcher position get a little too salty, the Rangers channel their inner Buddha and go to their Teagarden. Besides no one wants to pay extra for Saltalamacchia on their jersey when they can have a nice cup of Tea instead.
Oakland Athletics
Eventual AL MVP Matt Holiday realizes that maybe Oakland is a nice place to play—if he finds 100 million dollars in his locker.
Stay tuned for my National League "Predictions."
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