Every time I watch the Cleveland Indians this season, a part of me is waiting for Lou Brown to emerge from the dugout with a cardboard cut out of the owner in order to get these guys playing like a team.
If you don't know the reference I am making, then shame on you, because I am talking about one of the greatest sports movies of all time: Major League.
The only thing missing is an over-the-hill catcher (Jake Taylor) and closer Rick "The Wild Thing" Vaughn: although Kerry Wood's solid 11.37 ERA and eight earned runs in six innings pitched are giving "The Wild Thing" a run for his money.
My only hope is that Kerry Wood decides to rename his fastball the "See ya later" or the "Out of Stater," because the sooner he is off this team, the better it is for all parties involved.
On an even worse note, Grady Sizemore is filling in the role of Willie Mays Hayes quite nicely over the last two seasons.
No, I am not talking about the speedy lead-off hitter that was the spark of the Cleveland Indians team that packed an entire stadium after an improbable run to the playoffs.
I am talking about the Willie Mays Hayes at the beginning of Major League II.
It seems that ever since he starred in the online role of "nude e-mail pictures" his hitting has gone the way of Hayes after his acting career: non-existent.
Many Tribe fans are hoping to see the real Grady stand up (no pun intended) this season. Unfortunately I think Tribe fans are going to see more of Shelley Duncan and Trevor Crowe in center field than the "crowd favorite" Sizemore.
As I scan through the roster, I feel like I might have a better chance of seeing winning baseball by checking out a Frontier League game in local Avon, Ohio. I mean, the Lake Erie Crushers won their League Championship in their first season of existence.
And oh yeah, I won't have to pay $7.75 for a beer to watch them play!
Through all the bad, the Indians do have one bright spot this season. His name is Shin-Soo Choo.
When I headed down to Progressive Field on Friday night to take in an Indians-Reds game, I figured I was in for another offensive power outage for the Tribe, and if it weren't for Choo, I would have been right.
Choo slammed two home runs out of the park in a 3-for-4 effort, single-handedly providing the fans with their only baseball entertainment for the evening.
In fact, Choo has been proving the Cleveland fans that there is still hope for the future of Cleveland Indians baseball: unless he goes back to Korea to serve his military obligation next season.
Choo is batting an impressive .304 this season with seven home runs and 25 RBI for the lowly Indians, and has made runners into a cloud of dust when they attempt to score on him for third base.
The Korean native has provided the only bright spot on an otherwise horrid season for baseball in Cleveland, and it is nice to see that one of the "new" faces of Cleveland hasn't quit on his team in a time of need.
Yeah, I'm calling you out in an Indians article, LeBron James!
Choo is the type of player that Cleveland fans love, and you can hear that all around the city by just listening for the cry of "Chooooooooo" every time he steps to the plate.
In a time of uncertainty for the two Cleveland franchises in the Gateway area, Choo has provided the spark that a rebuilding team needs to remain competitive this season.
If it weren't for his continuous hustle in the field and hitting clinic at the plate, I fear that the younger players wouldn't have any type of real baseball play to look up to while playing for the Indians.
When the Cavaliers got bounced from the playoffs, I instantly turned my calendar ahead to August and September to map out my trips to Cleveland Browns and Ohio stadiums to check out the Browns and Buckeyes.
However, it seems that this man named Choo, a Tribe of One, may just keep me interested in Cleveland Indians baseball for the entire season.