Seattle Mariners

Sometimes, I think that my punishment in life for all the bad things I've done, and will do in the future, is being a devoted Seattle Mariners fan.

It's not an easy life, and one that takes a certain kind of person to fully commit to it.

We must be masochists. The constant pain and despair that my team has brought me over my 23 years on this earth is enough to drive a man straight into the arms of a bottle of Jack Daniels.

I know there are other fan bases out there with similar, or even harder, teams to root for.

According to Larry Stone of the Seattle Times , the Mariners have designated former Yankees reliever Kanekoa Texeira for assignment. They now have 10 days to trade Texeira or let somebody claim him off of waivers. 

Here is what Stone had to say of the Texeira move:

He seems cuddly enough. He seems, in fact, almost sweet. All that brown soft fur.

But looks can be deceiving. First impressions are not always right.

Take the tale of Mariner fan Victor Aguilar. The 32-year-old man from a Seattle suburb had gone to a recent Mariners game. As he was walking along with his cousin and uncle they saw the Mariner Moose coming toward them.

Aguilar was excited to see the Moose. He has, in fact, a strange admiration of the Moose, which we'll delve into in a moment. But first, back to the encounter.

Of late, everyone has been talking about how terrible the Mariners are.

"Chone Figgins is a bust."

"Jose Lopez can't play defense."

"Ken Griffey Jr. should retire."

These are some of the printable examples of what fans have said on the Internet over the past couple of months.

By Eric Denton - LA Angels Insider.com

I must confess—I bought into the hype this offseason.

The Seattle Mariners, coming off an 85-win 2009 season, made some serious moves in the winter.

They traded for one of the best starting pitchers in baseball in Cliff Lee, giving them one of the more formidable one-two punches along with blooming superstar Felix Hernandez.

There were many baseball fans, myself included, who thought that the Mariner's were the real day. Who wouldn't? They showed vast improvements in 2009 and they made a bunch of moves to get even better. The fact that the Angels looked pretty weak only help the Mariners' chances. Oh were we wrong.

This team can't hit, can't score, and can't hit home runs. It doesn't even matter that they can't hit home runs because there's no one on the stadium to catch them.

Thank you ESPN. Thank you Seattle newspapers. Thank you Mariners fans. Thank you radio talk shows. Thank you sports world. Oh yeah, and thank you Kevin Gregg.

I say thank you to all of the above because you have awoken one of the greatest baseball players of all time from his slumber.

Throughout this season, Griffey had been criticized day in and day out on how he should retire. People have said he's too old, doesn't have the same bat anymore, and simply cannot perform at the Major League level.

As a lifelong skeptic, I am the first person to downplay a small sample size of excellent statistics.

When Mike Sweeney tore through spring training and earned a roster spot with the Mariners this year, part of me said 'good, I'll take an able bat on the bench,' while another part of me said 'why are we wasting a roster spot on a non-fielding designated hitter and pinch hitter when we already have Griffey filling that role?' I was skeptical, but willing to give Sweeney a few weeks to prove me wrong.

The Seattle Mariners have entered a world they may eventually wish they hadn't. In the wake of the Ken Griffey Jr. "sleeping in the clubhouse during a game article," the Mariner players have decided to boycott the newspaper in which the article appeared.

The Mariners are now refusing to talk to or grant any interviews to the Tacoma News Tribune.

Why, exactly? Because apparently, they feel the reporter who wrote the piece, veteran Mariners beat writer Larry LaRue, was irresponsible for publishing it.

The Mariners' hitting is, to be blunt, very bad.

As an Indians fan, I think of my team's hitting, and think to myself, it could be worse. We could have the Mariners' hitting.

They are last in runs, home runs, and slugging percentage, and nearly last in batting average, hits, and other categories.

So the question is, how do we fix this?

Clearly, the Mariners are still in the hunt in a tight AL West, so they aren't out of it, and can afford to make some changes.