Joe Nathan

The Minnesota Twins offseason got off to a dubious start this week as two of the team’s perennial All-Stars, Justin Morneau and Joe Nathan, both underwent “cleanup” surgeries.

Luckily both Nathan and Morneau are expected to be ready and healthy for the start of Spring Training after undergoing their respective procedures to remove bone chips.

All fantasy owners know that closer is one of the most unpredictable positions to draft. Just look at this season, where David Aardsma and Ryan Franklin (just to give two examples) emerged from relative obscurity to help buoy fantasy bullpens. With that said, let’s take a look at an early shot at ranking the Top 15 fantasy closers, though a lot of things will cause this list to change, potentially drastically:

Anyone who spent more than 15 minutes on a college campus pretty quickly came to the realization that there are many things that seem like a good idea until you try them.

For some, it’s a case race or other manner of spontaneous intoxication. For others it was spending an entire day in the library to get a ton of work done (this seldom worked for me, as I still spent large swaths of time reading old political cartoons or the collected works of Bill Simmons).

With a slow grounder to to short, it was all over. The joy of game 163, the September magic, the 2009 season, baseball in the H.H.H. Metrodome, all of it.

It was a good run for the Minnesota Twins and in any evaluation of the season, that needs to be the foundation. The Twins beat their expected wins by six games and won a division in which they were projected to finish no better than third.

But, to borrow a line from the Bard, we come to bury the Twins, not to praise them.

The Land of 10,000 Lakes, (really, it's closer to 15,000) has decided to declare it's top icon of all time—no, not Prince, Tiny Tim, Bob Dylan, or Jesse the "Mind" Ventura.

You might be thinking, "I know, it's Brett Favre!" Well, you're getting warmer, but no.

"A.L. post season expert, Orlando Cabrera?" Almost there.

"Wait, you're not talking about that crappy old Dome are you?"

Yeah. You got it. That crappy old Dome. After the last 48 hours, I think you can agree, with just cause.

For the last 28 years, Minnesota has called the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome it's Metro-home.

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On Sept. 13, 2008, Rodriguez broke Bobby Thigpen's saves record for a single season with 58. The following day, I jumped onto YouTube to watch a video of the record-breaking moment and couldn't help but look at some of the comments people had written.

Many of the comments were along the lines of, "K-Rod is the best closer in Major League Baseball." As a huge Joe Nathan fan, I was a little ticked off. I rattled in my head a number of players who I thought were better, such as: Joe Nathan, Jonathan Papelbon, Mariano Rivera, Brad Lidge, and Joakim Soria.

I have a great idea that will never be implemented...ever. I want MLB closers to have professional wrestling entrances when they are called into the game. 

Imagine the fan fare as Enter Sandman blares through the new Yanks stadium and Mariano Rivera steps through a cloud of smoke.  Fireworks erupting around him and batters trembling. 

Furthermore, I want the closer's entrance to be secret. I want him to be warmed up in a private bullpen.  Then, as the middle reliever walks a batter, music fills the ballpark.