That headline sounds absurd, doesn't it? The guy already has three All-Star appearances, two postseason appearances, 97 major league home runs and a DVR full of knock-your-breath-away highlight clips.

Seriously, you need more Bryce Harper hype right now probably only slightly more than you need an IRS audit.

So, here's something you may not be aware of: Major League Baseball's award season does not actually end with the naming of the Most Valuable Players on Thursday.

Nope. Not anymore. On Friday evening, baseball will take a page out of Monty Python and try something completely different with the MLB Esurance Awards.

The Detroit Tigers beefed up their bullpen in a big way Wednesday, as they acquired veteran reliever Francisco Rodriguez in a trade with the Milwaukee Brewers.

The Brewers announced that they will receive minor league infielder Javier Betancourt and a player to be named later in the deal.

Boston Red Sox designated hitter David Ortiz officially announced Wednesday he's planning to retire from baseball following the 2016 season.

He made it official in a video for The Players' Tribune:

The MLB offseason is an exciting time to be a baseball fan. All 30 teams are hard at work tweaking their rosters for the upcoming season, and the rumor mill gives fans plenty to debate on a daily basis.

However, it's also a time when costly mistakes tend to be made.

From overpaying for a free agent to failing to address a glaring need, there are plenty of opportunities to make a franchise-altering decision in the offseason, both for the good and the bad.

The Korean Baseball Organization has to be taken seriously.

The country’s premier baseball league’s last two significant imports have both produced at high major league levels, and now a third has the potential to be the best of the group.

Feliz cumpleanos, Big Papi.

There is no shortage of talent in the Major League Baseball free-agent pool, and a World Series champion is starting to make some waves in the market.

Ben Zobrist came to the Kansas City Royals in a midseason trade with the Oakland Athletics and was rumored at one point to have both teams from The Big Apple interested him.

There has been no shortage of parity around Major League Baseball in recent years, and that was never more true than this past season.

The Toronto Blue Jays, New York Yankees, Texas Rangers, Houston Astros, New York Mets and Chicago Cubs all reached the playoffs after missing out the previous season.

Meanwhile, the Baltimore Orioles, Detroit Tigers, Los Angeles Angels, Oakland Athletics, Washington Nationals and San Francisco Giants went in the other direction, as they all missed the postseason after reaching October in 2014.

The MLB offseason continues to roll along at a rapid pace.

Three players accepted qualifying offers for the first time ever, a huge trade between the Seattle Mariners and Texas Rangers went down and that's not even half of the action.

Let's take a look at the latest news around the rumor mill as we hit mid-November. 

Mets Interested in Ben Zobrist

If you can't beat them, steal them, I suppose.