Chicago Cubs

Same story, different day. I swear, this sounds like a familiar plotline. A corpulent, Hispanic starting pitcher takes the mound for the Cubs, gives up multiple moonshots in his first inning of work, calls out a corner infielder for making some negligible error, and a "scuffle" breaks out in the Cubs dugout.

"These are the saddest of possible words: Tinker to Evers to Chance..."

These are the saddest of possible terms: My lifetime of anguish is done. From the iconic double play trio who last brought a championship to the north side of Chicago, to a triad more familiar to today's lexicon, the Chicago Cubs will torture me no longer.

Day by day, the Major League Baseball season gets closer. The Chicago Cubs have had two consecutive disappointing seasons. Now, with a new manager at the helm, the Cubbies are looking to start anew in 2011.

Many people are pessimistic about the upcoming season. Even though they may not have reason to be optimistic, I think it's time to be more ambitious.

As sure as the ivy grows in Wrigley Field every summer, so do the Chicago Cubs in finding themselves the odd men out in October.

With more than 100 years of misplayed balls and missed home runs, this should be the year it changes. This should be the year they break the "Cubbie" curse and learn the magic of October glory—but they won't.

Everyone else is plotting out the Cubs everyday lineup and batting order, so I suppose I should get into the act as well.

Based on spring training so far, this looks like Quade’s preferred batting order, at least against right-handers.

Fukudome, RF

Castro, SS

Byrd, CF

Ramirez, 3B

Pena, 1B

Soriano, LF

Soto, C

DeWitt, 2B

Pitcher

With the recent debate about "experts" finally reaching a decision on which Chicago Cubs game Ferris Bueller attended, it's important to also recognize some of the greatest showcases of the Chicago Cubs and Wrigley Field to appear on the silver screen.

ROOKIE OF THE YEAR

As a former boss of mine once said when I told him that I wanted a raise, "how does it feel to want"?

Well, Aramis Ramirez apparently wants something and that something is to swipe a few bags.

While I probably have a better chance of dating Keeley Hazell than Ramirez does of becoming a base stealer, it just goes to show you what passes for news in the spring.

The Cubs' 2010 season was so depressing that manager Lou Piniella retired six weeks early. No one pooped in the dugout this time around, but in all other ways the final chapter of Piniella's tenure mirrored that of Dusty Baker before him: Both men oversaw great teams their first season, equally great ones the second year, a mediocre squad for which much went wrong in their third year and a budget-saving fire sale in July of their final year after the team fell far from contention.

The Chicago Cubs are already six games into their Cactus League season and are leaving many fans already skeptical with the club's new management who currently stand at 1-5.

The one victory for the Cubs came over an impressive game with the reigning World Champion San Francisco Giants. Only seven games into the spring season, there has already been a dugout scuffle between Cubs' pitcher Carlos Silva and Aramis Ramirez.

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"It's only spring training."

Say it over and over to yourself, Cubs fans.

"It's only spring training."

Yes, it's only been four games—four games that don't count for anything, to be exact—but it's hard for a team to look any worse than the Chicago Cubs have so far.

In just four spring training games, the Cubs have committed 14 errors, including three in the first inning of a 12-5 loss to the Milwaukee Brewers on Wednesday.