MLB

Honestly, I went looking for the Saturday Night, Live skit simply because of the tie in to the theme of the article (I'll get to that).  Then I watched it and realized the implications are treacherous as well as infinite.  I'll leave it to the reader to make the leaps because I'm as tired of typing the phrases as you are of reading them.

Besides, the performances make no subtle statements.

The Philadelphia Phillies have confirmed the acquisition of super pitcher and three-time Cy Young award winner Pedro Martinez Wednesday.

The move sends a big message to the division and gives a huge shot in the arm to the Phillies.

Martinez sports a lifetime 2.91 ERA and a very impressive 214-99 record. His travels have included the Dodgers, Expos, Red Sox, and Mets.

In a stunning turn of events, the New York Yankees are reportedly "very close" to signing highly sought-after left-handed pitcher Barack Obama to a multi-year contract.

Pending a team physical, Obama is expected to join the team following the All-Star break.

It is currently unknown whether he will assume the starting role once held by Chien-Ming Wang—who has been on the disabled list since July 5 with a strained right shoulder—or push the struggling Joba Chamberlain back into the bullpen.

Finally.

Finally, the Atlanta Braves fans can hear the words, "Now batting, Jeff Francoeur" and not feel obligated to scream and holler and clap and cheer for their hometown hero.

Finally, the young ladies in the stands can tear off their Francoeur t-shirts and replace them with the screen-printed bleached hair of Nate McLouth.

When Francoeur returns to Turner Field this weekend as a New York Met, I can't promise you that he'll strike out three times or hit into four double plays. But I can promise you one thing: There will be boos.

The St. Louis Cardinals should trade for Corey Patterson.

Maybe I'm a moron.

Maybe I'm a thinker.

Either way, sometimes crazy ideas work. 

I know I'll get fried for this. You're probably thinking, "If he's not good enough for Washington, he's really not good enough for St. Louis. What does this guy know?"

Over the past few days, I have read in newspapers and listened on NY sports radio as commentators discuss the idea of taking Vernon Wells' absurd contract as the springboard to land Roy Halladay in the Bronx.

Most people like to pick their American and National League All-Star snubs immediately following the announcement of the rosters. I, on the other hand, prefer to wait until the day of the game to pick mine.

Take for instance, Carlos Pena of the Rays. Many people picked him as someone who should have made the team, but didn't. But...he did! As a replacement for Dustin Pedroia. So while some players didn't make the team originally, there are always methods of being included.

So, here are my All-Star snubs who actually did NOT make the team.

The Yankees need to rummage in their closet and find what does not fit in their life anymore and eject it...that old pair of shoes...that worn out coat...

And some pitchers and postion players who have outgrown their use.