Humor

Just because the Phillies were off yesterday doesn’t mean I have to stop writing about them. I’m a babe and I’m Irish. That means I can’t stop my obsession with boys and I can’t stop talking—but not necessarily in that order. 

But when my husband asked if I could abstain from baseball for just one day, I was speechless.

Long after were all gone, people of the year 4718 will uncover some long lost DVDs. Scientists will analyze these videos for years upon years trying to figure out who it is. Some will say he was the prophet. Other may say he's God's second child. No one can figure out who this man was.

They will ask Peter Gammons (who reported on Jesus Christ's stickball league all them years ago) who this man was and if he has any relation to Christ. Peter will look up at the monitor and as if he was the old lady in the movie Titanic, he'll start having vivid flashbacks.

Multiple sources have reported today that Yankees' shortstop Derek Jeter has tested positive and will serve a 50-game suspension for performance enhancing drugs.

Our sources have confirmed that the positive test was for a designer steroid known simply as "the glue."

"The glue" does not help develop a player's speed or strength, nor does it help players recover from injury. In fact, "the glue" does not increase physical performance at all.

"The glue" is specifically designed to enhance an athlete's intangible ability to do all the "little things."

Pitching.

It’s a simple word with a simple concept: throw the ball into the zone.

Umpires always have the option of confirming a call with their crew, they also have the option of reviewing a home run call with instant replay, but they sometimes don’t.

That’s why I should be an umpire.

Julio Lugo won't be in a Red Sox uniform if Theo listens to my adivice in this slideshow. He's one of the first guys traded. Some of the choices replacing some of the Red Sox player I have selected may suprise you, they may make you laugh, or they may make you scratch your head.
None of these trades could actually go down, but here's hoping. They are ment only for satrical reasons.

Undoubtedly the most interesting part of any baseball game, the visit to the mound is as integral to baseball as the mound itself.

With the Yankees current situation in Fenway getting worse, the Yankees are desperate for a win.

The Bombers, now are 0-6 against Boston, are looking for someone who can get the job done against the potent Red Sox offense.

They are just looking for a guy who won't let up a home run to Big Papi.

Today, I’ll keep things short and sweet.

Remember this day Mets fans.

June 10, 2009

This was the day you had nothing to complain about. As fans we have spent the last few seasons dissecting this team for flaws and we always find at least one. To be honest, I am sure if you really go over last night's 6-5 victory over the Phils you will find a few warts, but if you choose to do so, you will be missing the point of last nights win.

The Mets played with fire: Johan and Frankie saw to that.

You can please all of the people none of the time, some of the people none of the time, and none of the people none of the time.

Wait, I think I screwed that up. Let me check my email again.

Nope, that’s right.