Humor

Last week the lady behind the counter at Wawa told me people are always nice when the sun shines and the Phillies win.

Well, it’s a great time to work at Wawa.

Despite the Philadelphia Phillies seemingly ending the National League Championship Series in a brief and dominant five games, TBS is pushing Los Angeles Dodger manager Joe Torre to name a Game Six starting pitcher.  

"You really never know. The Dodgers are such a fantastic team and have come back so many times this year, " TBS play-by-play man and legacy hire Chip Caray said, "it would make a lot of baseball sense to do it." 

Everyone who has had the good fortune to read Alan Moore's "Watchmen" knows that it is one of the greatest literary works of all time. Entertainment Weekly called it the 13th-best book since 1983. Time Magazine called it one of the 100 best novels since 1923. "Watchmen" is the only comic to appear on either list. What makes "Watchmen" special is its incredibly complex characters. Most of the so-called superheroes have no actual powers. They are human, with regular human flaws and weaknesses, albeit somewhat exaggerated because of their circumstances.

Before I begin, I’ll set my own record straight: this is not a diatribe to follow the lines of Game 6 of the NBA Western Conference Finals in 2002.

I’m not going to sit here and point fingers about conspiracy theories, all the while playing mysterious music in the background .

Like many baseball fans, I have spent a good number of hours watching TBS over the past couple weeks. TBS' coverage has been jam-packed with colorful commentary and insight from the brightest baseball minds in the world. Given that the next game TBS will air could be their last of the season, I thought it would be nice to reflect on some of the most memorable things that I have learned.

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By the end of the fifth inning with the Phillies up by eight, I was thinking, this game can’t be over fast enough . But after the eighth, when the home team added three more to the score, the Dodgers were thinking the same thing.

The signs said it all.

“City of BrotherLEE Love”

One morning my kid wandered into the kitchen half asleep and accidentally sent my favorite coffee mug to its demise on my hard ceramic tiles. Okay, accidents happen. But this wasn’t just any mug. This was a 32-ounce monstrous work of art I earned from an overpriced jousting show at the Excalibur in Las Vegas on one of our rare real vacations.

It's no secret that the Texas Rangers are for sale. Owner Tom Hicks is ready to hand the reins of the franchise to someone else. Like many sports fans, I was taken aback by the rumors that Rush Limbaugh was in contention to purchase the St. Louis Rams. I was not surprised that a rich celebrity with no connection to professional sports would want to purchase an NFL team. I was confused about why such expenditures are relatively uncommon for wealthy idiots. The only interesting person currently in the running to buy the Rangers is Nolan Ryan. And let's face it, he's no Limbaugh.

(Apologies to Jonathan Swift)

I saw and heard the strangest thing early Monday morning.

At about 2 a.m. EDT Monday, I saw a stadium full of about 50,000 people strangely quiet. No, I did not wake out of a sound sleep. It was not a religious function and the preacher was giving a sermon.

Nope.

It was a freakin' baseball game.

Much of the East coast was asleep, my wife was asleep, my daughter, who didn't have school the next day, went to bed in the fifth innning and my cat was asleep.