Humor

What I’m Reading

• The Rays might be built for 2010, but what about beyond that? Carlos Pena and Carl Crawford might be skipping town after the season is over.

Baseball was back at Citi Field yesterday after what seemed like an especially long winter, especially considering the events of the 2009 Mets season.

Mets fans were out in full force and, surprisingly enough, there was a celebratory atmosphere at the ballpark.

The ballpark itself seemed to sparkle while showing off some tweaks and improvements. When David Wright deposited a Josh Johnson pitch into the right field seats, I swear I could almost feel the building letting out a sigh of relief.

All of the promise of offseason trades and unbelievable expenditures culminated on Monday afternoon as the Chicago Cubs traveled to Atlanta to face the Braves.

It only took an inning to ruin the Cubs' season.

Jumping out to an early 3-0 lead in top of the first inning, the Cubs looked like they were ready to stake their claim and end the streak of something like 500 straight years without a World Series title.

The Boston Police Department has set out in search of the body of Jason Varitek. The Red Sox catcher was last seen behind the plate of Fenway Park for the first pitch. He shortly disappeared after the toss by Pedro Martinez and was not seen in the clubhouse afterwards.

Many people speculate that Red Sox catcher Victor Martinez was behind the plate yesterday because of Varitek's absence. After all, Varitek is the better of the two catchers and is the team captain. 

Baseball is beloved for more than the action on the field. It is a game where malapropisms are frequently used to describe the action taking place between players.

There are expressions, superstitions, and folklore that are ingrained into the national past time's psyche.

We know many of the expressions used, even if we do not know what they really mean.

One of the most renowned baseball legends is Yogi Berra. His malapropisms are so vast, it has made for several books.

The Mets can win 90 games this season.

Omar Minaya wasn't lying when he said that on a recent radio interview.

Many people would wonder how I could think that.  Well, here we go.

1. Starting Pitching

With only three days until the first pitch, the 135th Opening Day in Major League Baseball history is almost here. It's only fitting to examine what is so special about this annual American rite of passage.

Just say the words "Opening Day," and all American sports fans know exactly what you are talking about. No need to even mention the sport.

Baseball's Opening Day stands alone.

It seems as though something unique happens every season on that day.

The season is almost upon us and to get myself in writing shape I figured I'd give you guys a guided tour of my secret shame. As if being a devoted Mets fan wasn't shameful enough, there is a deep dark secret I keep locked away in my closet. My love for the New Era 59Fifty. For the last 5 years I worked for a company that was a retailer of the 59Fifty. I bought a Mets hat. Then I bought another...and another...and another. Things got a little hazy after that but one day I woke up with a closet full of Mets fitted caps. Some of these I don't even remember buying.

“Hey Hey Hey!” According to a recent press release, New York Yankee ace CC Sabathia has agreed to play Fat Albert in the sequel to the 2004 film of the same name. Sabathia will take over for Keenan Thompson, who played the title character in the first movie.

Filming of Fat Albert 2: When Pudding Attacks is set to begin the day after the 2010 World Series, which the Yankees are expected to win.

If you've been to Minute Maid Park recently, you've probably noticed maintenance crews removing Jeff Bagwell's retired jersey No. 5 from the rafters.

It might remind people of that line from the movie Short Circuit: "Number Five ALIVE !"

No, Bagwell hasn't been implicated in the steroids scandal. No, he hasn't been caught betting on baseball or cheering for the Texas Rangers. And no, ex-wife Shaune Bagwell isn't writing a tell-all book about their brief marriage.