Humor

What I’m Reading

• Get ready for some comic mischief and summer-hijinks – and all of it outdoors! What I’m trying to say here is that the Twins are planning on using a closer-by-committee strategy in Joe Nathan’s absence.

Chris Berman is a broadcasting legend.

Finding a sports fan who doesn't know who he is would be hard, but finding one that doesn't like him might be even harder.

He attended Brown University, but you certainly can't tell with his wacky behavior when covering any sporting event.

Berman is creative, funny, and smart, what more could you ask for?

So without further ado, I give you the 20 greatest "Bermanisms" of all time.

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Some pests are hard to get rid of.

Like Yankee fans.

As anyone who follows American League ball can tell you, they show up in droves at opposing ballparks whenever the Bronx Bombers visit.

With their charming ways, chainsaw accents, and oh-so-gentle demeanor, they continue to be ambassadors for the civility and "live and let live" attitude that their home city is so well known for.

But few realize that the entire Yankee fan species (blowhardus obnoxious) is actually split into several subsets or, from those who remember your high school biology days, phylum.

What I’m Reading

• Tune in tonight at 7 for our unnecessarily extended sappy special, “Not Officially, But Close: The John Smoltz Retirement Story.” Sounds like a romantic-comedy.

“Lock it up”

If you are reading this and you don’t already know where that quote is from, you need to put this paper down immediately and go watch the movie “Wedding Crashers.”

On second thought…finish reading my article first, then go and watch the movie.

The St. Louis Cardinals are having internal discussions about trading pitcher Rich Hill to the Philadelphia Phillies for Roy Halladay, according to sportswriter extraordinaire, Evan Bruschini .

High-ranking members of the Cardinals’ front office told Bruschini that the team is putting together an offer centering around lefty Hill and right-handed Halladay, but are first making sure that such a deal would truly improve the team.

Alyssa Milano isn't baseball's only hot fan anymore! Take me out to the ball game with some of the hotties in this slideshow!

There's nothing sexier than an articulate woman that loves sports. Over the last few years, MLB has found some very lovely women to report the latest news for their teams. And we've put all of the baseball-loving hotties in one place for your viewing pleasure!

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During a recent "Saturday Night Live", comedian/host Zach Galifianakis did the mustache community proud by shaving his trademark bushy hobo beard down to a very handsome cookie duster.

Similarly, during last spring's World Baseball Classic, Kevin Youkilis abandoned his goatee and toyed around with a fu manchu that would make the likes of Luis Tiant and Hulk Hogan blush.

Unfortunately, the werewolf gene present in both "The Hangover" star and the Red Sox first baseman keeps them from donning just the lip sweater.

Major League Baseball has a rich history of nicknames, but not all nicknames are created equally. The league is currently flooded with lazy, uninspired nicknames that are, more accurately, abbreviations that hold no real meaning.

Some, for instance A-Rod (Alex Rodriguez) and Arm-Ram (Aramis Ramirez) are better left without meaning. Both monikers are better suited to something you would find in the adult section of the video store. Other nicknames are stretches or just sound ridiculous. Jimmy "J-Roll" Rollins comes to mind.

This article was originally published at TheDailyCub.com , my blog covering all things Chicago Cubs.

Let’s take a look at an alternate universe, one where nobody ever has to take accountability, then gets to do an interview on a major network without being asked about your play.

It’s a world where, if you screw up, the world is just against you. It’s not your fault. Why should you take the blame when people are trying to hold you down?