Humor

As news of Jose Reyes thyroid issue hit the press this morning, the prognosis was the Mets shortstop would miss 2-8 weeks.  Fans who lived and died with this team over the past year knew it was going to be at least two months before Reyes played again.

What I’m Reading

• Uh-oh. Looks like “Broken” Brandon Webb might be starting the year on the DL. Yes, even after spending the past year on the DL.

• And how about Joe Nathan? Might be too early to tell, but this isn’t a good sign for the hopeful Twins.

Man, I wish I could have been part of the arbitration process for Jeff Mathis. Mathis asked for $1.3 million, the team offered a measly $700,000. Hey that was an insult. The man hit .211, after all!

Since I wasn’t there, I can only imagine how it went. Maybe something like this:

In front of a sellout crowd of 10 and videotaped with a video camera from 1988, some player you actually heard of pitched two good innings, giving up just nine runs on 12 hits to go along with 10 walks. 

"I literally just threw fastballs over and over again," player you heard of said. "Wait, there's how many more spring training games?"

Pitching the other seven innings were players numbered 80 to 100 with one guy whose jersey simply said "Who cares?" on the back of it.

What I’m Reading

• The Braves’ 20-year old monster prospect Jason Heyward is already turning heads in camp . The feeling around Kissimmee is that he’ll continue this trend all the way into the regular season. The major league regular season.

Since Bleacher Report is such a distinguished blog, I must presume that Houston Astros owner Drayton McLane reads it, especially the postings that appear in the sports section of the Houston Chronicle . Perhaps he's reading this very post, thinking to himself, "What kind of a writer uses a weird name like Zoe-wee? Is that a pen name?"

Massachusetts towns from Spencer to Swampscott and from Boston to Brookfield have become participants in the Lowell Spinners' quest to eliminate heartbreak and taunting from youth baseball programs playing in the shadows of Fenway Park.

Even a squad or two from Maine, New Hampshire, Rhode Island and yes, Rochester, NY have been spared the wide spread humiliation that accompanies being subjected to Yankee Pin Stripes while living in the heart of Red Sox Nation.

Baseball dorks finally have made it to the Hall of Fame. Yes, they had to create their own: the Baseball Historian Hall of Fame, with an award named after Henry Chadwick.

The Hall was created by the good folks over at the Society of Baseball Research or SABR.  For those not in the know, SABR stats are the basis of sabermetrics. Without sabermetrics Billy Beane would only be recognized by a handful of people.

Without Billy Beane, Michael Lewis would, in 2003, have never written the best seller Moneyball . 

I'm not positive, but I think I'm having a nervous breakdown.

My significant other tells me that I've been talking—actually chanting—in my sleep. It's driving her around the bend. Can you imagine what it's like to be awakened from a sound sleep at 3:30AM by an old-age pensioner with swamp breath who's shouting, "WE'RE NUMBER THIRTY! WE'RE NUMBER THIRTY!! WE'RE NUMBER THIRTY!!!"

Despite all the talk about pessimism and optimism regarding the Royals , their offseason and the 2010 players they plan to trot out on the field, there is one clear reason for EVERY baseball fan in Kansas City to get excited.