Humor

With the Phillies’ postseason sweep of the Reds, I thought it was time to pay homage. I’ll start:

When it comes to Phillies pitching, there’s definitely something in the H20.

Mike Sweeney is so generous with the hugs, I applied for a job as bat-boy.

The Phils successfully steal so many bases, they gave away EPTs at the last game.

Purity of the game means passion and joy when on the field. It means players would be there competing even if there was no money involved.  Purists dream baseball, and live baseball when they are not near a field.   Baseball is who they are.  

A dream about spiders, cowboy boots, a DVD, a phone book, food, a tanning both or an iron have been the cause for an injury in the MLB. They weren't too severe, but here are seven of the weirdest injuries ever to happen in the MLB. 

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When it comes to describing the emotions of a middle-aged woman who witnessed Roy Halladay’s once-in-a-lifetime postseason feat, I simply don’t have the words.

My husband says, “Add that to the other things you don’t have: boobs and couth.”

That might be true, but he wasn’t disappointed the day I proved I didn’t have man-parts either.

I am the George Steinbrenner Plaque.

I am 760 pounds of solid bronze living in my new digs in Monument Park.  I’m seven feet wide, wider than CC Sabathia is tall. And I’m five feet tall, taller than CC Sabathia is wide.

When you do stand-up comedy you’re supposed to start with your second best stuff and finish with your finest stuff.

That eliminates anything to do with my boobs.

My husband says that eliminates any chance I have of doing stand-up.

Thanks, honey.

So the challenge is how to start this blog with something almost as funny as how I’ll end it based on a premise that’s pertinent to baseball.

The Florida Marlins have publicly stated that whatever media sources are reporting a brawl during their game last night are false. Major League Baseball says that since there were no fans at the Marlins game last night, there are no witnesses to prove otherwise. 

The Marlins have become synonymous with having a very low attendance average. On television, there are not any fans in the seats and thus a ton of orange seats are left exposed to the cameras. Last night was no exception. 

Cincinnati Reds second baseman Brandon Phillips complimented the Cardinals before our last series, saying they were a fun team, akin to playing with your female dog. He was wrong.

The St. Louis Cardinals are sissies.

Well, Mets fans, we have endured another very difficult season watching our favorite team struggle night-in and night-out. Last night, the team saw their 2-1 lead be shattered by a seven-run Braves fifth inning, highlighted by Luis Castillo's error on a routine double play ball.

by Brett Lay

The Washington Nationals announced in a conference call this morning that phenom rookie pitcher Stephen Strasburg’s mutant right arm has lost its powers due to recent sunspot activity.

Nationals GM Mike Rizzo said Strasburg realized there was a problem when he could no longer summon the powers of a Norse god of thunder to fling baseballs at his normal average speed of several hundred miles an hour in a recent practice.