Humor

It’s like deja-vu all over again! 

Remember Forrest Gump?  If he wasn't fictional, he would have a blast watching the Phillies. We are, "like a box of chocolates—you never know what you're gonna get." And that is the way it goes for Phillies fans.

Last night, Stay Puff Marshmallow Man, Blanton, delivered in innings two through five.  As expected he did not perform in the first or the sixth (Uncle Charlie, why did you not pull him after the fifth?) He allowed four runs on eight hits and four walk.

The Mets adopted an unusual strategy for dealing with reporters' inquiries about K-Rod's arrest for assault last night.

Normally reserved and bashful David Wright sarcastically told reporters, "I'm surprised, K-Rod is such an even-tempered guy.  The victim is lucky Frankie didn't stab him.  I hope he stays in jail."

A baseball game is a great place to spend an evening with family, friends, or a significant other.  Up at the major league level it's a little pricey, but if you poke around on the Internet, you can find a good enough deal to make a trip to the ballpark more than worth your while.

Depending on when you get there and where your seats are, there's a chance you may even walk out of the stadium with a souvenir baseball courtesy of a foul ball or a friendly ball boy.

This morning I was greeted by a hair ball, a pet puke, and an offensive odor.

Speaking of offensive, I should blog. I’ll start by singing the accolades of my favorite major league catcher.

Wait, my husband says it’s too early in the day for me to sing. Actually, he says there’s never a reason for it.

In a strange turn of events, an unknown source reports that Joe Buck paid off Lance Berkman.  The bounty was placed to hit a line drive off Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez while the superstar wasn't paying attention.

Buck, known by many as a Yankee hater, allegedly told the struggling Berkman he would give him $75,000 if he hit a screaming line drive that hit A-Rod, while Buck would distract A-Rod by talking to him. Rodriguez is now considered day-to-day. 

Berkman, as of August 6th, is 2-for-19 in five games. 

I feel obligated to snap this off tonight.  The Tex Mex Phillies aka Astros are a much different team and Roy Oswalt deserves some advice upon his arrival.  Considering Houston is like our second home I would like to help him adjust once he gets to Philly (he pitches tomorrow night at the Nats for anyone who has been asleep).

Big Texas Howdy, Roy!  I hope this helps you as much as you will help us on our quest to the World Series!

by Matt Webb

Spoiled food in the clubhouse and concession stands at Tropicana Field nearly resulted in two no-hitters in the July 26 contest between the Tampa Bay Rays and Detroit Tigers.

When a report from Sports Illustrated stating that 100 percent of concession stands in Tropicana Field failed their food safety inspections in the last 12 months began circulating on the internet, players and fans alike were skeptical but no more after the results of today's contest.

The June swoon, the July good-bye, the August bust, and the September to dismember could all be used to discuss the ghosts of Cubs' season past.

There are a few exceptions of course; one being the '84 team that headed into San Diego up 2-0 and found a way to cough up the NLCS. I am sure that Gatorade on a glove had everything to do with it.

The '89 team showed promise until they met up with a buzz-saw in the San Francisco Giants and were taken in five games.