Humor

So, what would you do if you were baseball commissioner for a year? Well, I sure know. Actually, there are three major things that as the commissioner I would attempt to do. Actually, these would happen, I would make sure of it.

Sorry to say it, Bud, but you're fired!

On each of these slides is one thing that I will do.

Hey, if you like the ideas, vote for me as baseball commish!

If not, then comment! Tell me all of your fury and rage against my ideas.

So, without further ado, I present Shanan H.'s tenure as baseball's brans, spankin new commissioner!

Bleacher Report fantasy baseball gurus Scott Fender and Collin Hager of the Elmhurst Pub Roundtable put together a Bleacher Report fantasy baseball league for some of the brightest minds in fantasy baseball to fight it out for a championship. 

Now I'm a huge baseball guy, but my passion for the sport has waned a little bit even with the Phillies' World Series Championship.

This article is the sixth in the series of "25 Ways to Know if You're a ____ Fan". People have enjoyed reading about their favorite teams and how to know that they belong to that fan base. The next team in the series is the Cincinnati Reds.

So, Cincinnati, here is your list!

It would be nice to see the Cubs get back to the place where they belong.

Ok, so they have not been to the World Series since my great great grandpa watched Ty Cobb lace them up.

But with opening up of the $1.5 Billion House-that-A-Rod-financed-through-Public- Steroids a.k.a. the new Yankee Stadium, and the Cubs making a cameo in April, I think it only fitting the Wrigley wonders and new digs be home to the 2009 World Series.

Yesterday the Yankees trotted out their 140-million dollar ace to wow the lowly likes of the Baltimore Orioles. CC Sabathia, the reason the Brewers were in the playoffs last year, the work-horse who has thrown more innings in the past two years than anyone, Goliath himself, had one really bad day.

But it wasn't his fault.

It was windy, so the pitches weren't going where he wanted.

The crushing weight of being the Yankee's ace was way too tough—he's not used to it yet.

In economics, the Misery Index is calculated by adding the inflation rate to the unemployment rate. The Sports Fan Misery Index, developed by the Boston Sports Group, calculates the financial pain experienced by a devoted team follower when he watches his club lose at home.

Using research available from Team Marketing Report, the Sports Fan Misery Index is computed by adding three numbers: 1) the cost of an average ticket (premium seating is not included in this calculation); 2) the cost of parking; and 3) the cost of consolation, or two small beers.

"Dear ESPN, I heard you were moving SportsCenter West.  You should really promo that more.  Perhaps even during every commercial break."—signed, "The First Two Rounds of the Masters on ESPN" promo
 
Yikes.
 
So, ESPN is finally landing on the West Coast, and finally unveiling their huge production monstrosity in LA.  
 
Hold up, four-letter: Do you mean to tell me that LA is "somehow" more attractive than Bristol, Conn.?  Promote the genius who discovered that (unless it’s Mike Greenberg).

With Opening Day of major league baseball's 2009 regular season only three days away, commissioner Bud Selig has announced that a new award will be handed out to one lucky player in each league at the end of the season.

This award has been created, said Selig, to reward those who do shady things behind the scenes to become physical specimens and hit record amounts of home runs, ultimately providing obscene amounts of revenue for Selig and his once-great sport.

After a much self introspective and soul searching thought process, Bud Selig, MLB’s drug lord Commissioner, has stepped down today amidst baseballs' latest scandal concerning the discovery of Babe Ruth’s DNA, which showed every steroid known to man in his system.